If you only do just one thing to prepare for your marriage, I would make that one thing Love Languages. Your love language is simply the way you prefer to give and receive love. Developed by couples therapist Gary Chapman, love languages are a super powerful tool to strengthen your bond. It’s a super simple framework but when you aren’t aware of it, you can spend years feeling unsupported, questioning your relationship and douting your partner’s love. Understanding your partner’s love language will save you more heartache than anything else and go so far in helping you build a really strong bond. You can probably figure out your type by reading the description below but there is a fun and easy quiz that you can take here to determine your love language.
Words of Affirmation: For these people, it’s all about kind words. They feel most loved when they receive words of encouragement, praise, and affirmation. Speaking sweet words to them just feels the absolute best. Give them all the compliments.
Acts of Service: For people with this preference, it’s all about actions. They feel most loved when you do things to help them or brighten their day. The gestures are often small but make them feel very cared for and loved- things like bringing the coffee, cleaning the car, doing dishes, or making the reservation.
Receiving Gifts: For these people, it’s all about the gift. They really feel seen and appreciated and loved with the gesture of a gift. It doesn’t have to be extravagant but nothing will speak louder than a thoughtful gift for these folks.
Quality Time: For these people, it’s all about attention. These people are the ones who want to watch the movie together, go on a walk, spend quality time just focused on being together without distraction. So block out the time, and give them your focused attention
Physical Touch: For these people, it’s about the touch. This person is the one who really feels supported by that hug, pat on the back, or holding hands. A long embrace or back rub will make them feel all the love.
Now, make sure that you and your partner both take the quiz and then share your results and talk about it. And then with your new understanding make sure you remind yourself how best to show your love And pro tip- these languages are also super useful in your other important relationships. Especially around your wedding, when things can get stressful- reminding yourself about these languages can help strengthen the bonds with parents, girlfriends, & future in-laws.
So whoever you are feeling tension or distance with, try to reach out in their language and get that relationship back on track fast!